Hey, it's me!

Hello!

My name is Kristine... And this is my new blog. I doubt anyone will read it and honestly I'm ok with that. I just wanted a place to express myself... that sounds dumb... but then most of the things I think or say could qualify as dumb. If you are by chance reading this then I'll make no apologies for it. I believe in being honest...  I don't get beating around the bush or hinting at a point. I'd rather just say what I think.

When I was a teenager that wasn't the case... I just wanted to fit in, so if my friends liked something... I liked it too. If they liked a sport.... I told them I did too... If they wanted ice cream... I wanted ice cream... if their favorite movie was Everafter...  I told them that was mine too... even if it wasn't really true. Interestingly enough...during even though I was trying to be part of the group I always felt like I was living in the background. I wasn't really part of it.  I remember once, we all watched Pearl Harbor together. They all said they thought Josh Hartnett was a babe. I did NOT think he was cute. I thought Ben Affleck was the cute one. but I didn't want to be different so I went along with it... "oh yeah! Josh is sooo cute! (giggle, giggle)" I went home later and wondered for a long time why I lied... it wasn't a big thing to lie about... it wasn't even important... why did I feel like I HAD to be the same as everyone else. I worried over it all night... and the next time I hung out with my friends, we watched the movie again. (so were the ways of teenage girls with celebrity crushes) right after the movie it started up again... all of my friends started giggling and talking about how much they LOOOOOOVED Josh Hartnett... and I made a decision... the decision to be different. I said, "Girls! I don't actually think Josh is cute... I think Ben Affleck is cuter." they all looked at me like I was crazy. I think they may have even called me crazy out loud... but we laughed about it. I defended my opinion and life went on... but things were different after that... better. I realized that my friends didn't even know who I really was because I wasn't being honest with them. In fact, I didn't know who I was because I wasn't being honest with myself. I decided to stop agreeing with everyone just to fit in... I only agreed if it was actually my true opinion... My friendships grew stronger... I started to like myself more.... and I promised that I would always be myself from then on. It wasn't always great... I got into a lot more disagreements than before... I even lost a few friends... but then I thought, "they weren't REALLY my friends anyway... not if they didn't like the real me." 

I've learned that life is too short to be anyone but yourself. Its not about being the best or the worst... the most popular, or least...its not even about being good or bad at something. its about being the best version of yourself... its about constantly working towards being more. taking your mistakes and learning from them. Understanding that your worth isn't contingent upon how others see you, it is constant and immeasurably grand.  

               

"If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how extraordinary you can be!"

                                                               -Maya Angelou

May you always be yourself and never apologize for it.